Danny Amor's Online Library/Danny Amor's Online Library - Volume 1.iso/html/startrek/misc/rulesofacquistion

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Subject: Ferngi Laws
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             FERENGI LAWS OF ACQUISITION

Here are the Laws of Acquisition that have have been used so far (out of
285 total):

  1 Once you have their money, you never give it back.
  2 His money is only your's when he can't get it back.
  3 Never allow one's culture's law to get in the way of a
    universal goal: profit.
  4 Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough.
  5 If you can't break a contract, bend it.
  6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
  7 Always Keep your ears open.
  8 Keep count of your change.
  9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
 10 A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one.
 11 Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.
 12 Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
 13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
 14 Anything stolen is pure profit.
 15 Acting stupid is often smart.
 16 A deal is a deal.
 17 A bargain usually isn't.
 18 Beware of relatives bearing gifts.
 19 Don't lie to soon after a promotion.
 20 When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
 21 Never place freindship above profit.
 22 Wise men can hear profit in the wind.
 23 Never take the last coin, but be sure to get all the rest.
 25 Fear makes a good business partner.
 30 Talk is cheap; syntheol costs money.
 31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.
 32 Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects.
 33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
 41 Money talks, but having lots of it gets more attention.
 43 Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
 47 Don't trust a man waering a better suit than yours.
 48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
 57 Good customers are rare as latinum - treasure them.
 58 Friendship is seldom cheap.
 59 Free advice is seldom cheap.
 60 Never use credit where your words will do.
 61 Never bu what can be stolen.
 62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
 70 Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the
    merchandise.
 76 Every once in a while, declare peace.  It confuses the hell out of
    your enemies.
101 Never do something you can make someone do for you.
103 Sleep can interfere with opportunity.
109 Buy, sell, or get out the way.
118 Dignity and an sack is worth the sack.
123 A friend is only a friend until you sell him something.  Then he is a
    customer.
139 wives serve, brother inherit.
172 If you can sell it, don't hesitate to steal it.
194 Know your new customers before they walk through the door.
212 Never give away for free what can be sold.
??? If a deal is fairly and lawfully made, then seeking revenge especially
    unprofitable revenge, is illegal.
??? information is power.